


I'm With You

by knifeboye



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, So much angst, klance, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 09:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8200139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knifeboye/pseuds/knifeboye
Summary: Lance pinned the whole mission down to four huge missteps:The first was in sending Keith with him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [karovie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/karovie/gifts).



It was supposed to be a simple diplomatic mission in a supposedly friendly civilization. The instructions Coran and Allura had provided were simple: go to the planet Thyspos, propose a diplomacy between Voltron and the Uyamian people, and be back at the castle in time for a nice bowl of Altean space goo.

Lance pinned the whole mission down to four huge missteps.

The first was in sending Keith with him. It was a bonding exercise, since the red and blue paladins had been arguing so much that they botched a simple training exercise, and _maybe_ almost destroyed the castle. Allura had given them a long and heated lecture, then suspended their lions (Lance didn't even know she could  _do that_ ), forcing them to share a flight pod. They’d have to navigate the pod together, and rely on one another to complete the simple mission. It was really supposed to be an in and out situation.

The second misstep would be Allura and Coran instilling the belief that the Uyamians were a peaceful people.

The third would be not mentioning the _unbearable coldness_ that was Thyspos’s climate. This resulted in Lance and Keith shivering in their armor as they walked through the kingdom to the castle, wanting nothing more than to _leave_ , which was, like, the most insulting thing a person could do while trying to form a diplomacy with a very large kingdom with _very_ promising assets.

The fourth would be not doing the _basic goddamn research_ to find out that there was, in fact, a long brewing civil war between the groups known as the Fachar (a group against the King, Beskus), and the Qoshar (an allegiance sworn to follow the King). It was some big mess about the Fachar being opposed to the King’s inheriting of their kingdom, wanting to appoint their own ruler. Lance digressed- the politics of the situation really didn’t matter.

It was all just an enormously big mess, really. So what happened was not much of a surprise.

Lance was at fault. If he hadn’t had that _stupid gut feeling_. If he hadn’t stopped the meeting to go explore the King’s halls.

If only he hadn’t let Keith come with him.

As if he could stop him, really. The red paladin was all resolution- a brutal, unyielding force. To attempt to tell Keith no would be a pointless venture that would lead to a full blown argument, which would then end with Keith getting his way, and Lance fuming.

The blue paladin had been fidgety through most of the meeting. Of course, Keith had noticed, kicking Lance’s ankle to bring his attention to the King and his council.

The Uyamians were a race that looked much like humans. However, they were far shorter, their skin blubbery and violet where it showed, and most of their bodies were covered in extravagant looking yellow hair. Their eyes were an icy blue all over- no sign of a pupil. And Lance was fairly sure they were all genderless beings, as none of them were a distinguishable male or female. So, not only was Lance forced on this boring mission with _Keith_ , of all people, but now he had no hot alien babes to flirt with. Which meant he actually had to focus.

The inside of the castle contrasted greatly with the archaic village that surrounded it. Lance wondered why the King lived in such luxury, when the people seemed to reside in the Dark Ages. Allura must have known about the technological advances of the Uyamian’s King- greater than that of humans, for sure, but still below Altean. They would be a great advantage, and Lance knew that.

However, as the King Beskus listed their assets and the composition of the kingdom, Lance found that he just _couldn’t pay attention_. Something kept drawing Lance’s gaze to the grand double doors. And, though he did not have his lion with him, Lance adopted her second sense, and felt adrenaline start to pump his heart, readying him for battle. He could almost feel her familiar purring urging him to the door- could hear her in his head, despite their distance.

And the moment Keith’s dark eyes caught Lance’s worried ones, the red paladin was onto him.

“What’s the matter?” he had asked in a low voice, leaning in close from their seats at the King’s council table- a weird hexagonal thing made of some kind of warm metal that thrummed with energy. Lance hoped, absentmindedly, that it wasn’t radioactive, and was instead meant to be some sort of heater for the wretched cold.

Lance turned to face Keith fully, now. “I thought I heard something… I don’t know- I’ve just got a bad feeling. I’m gonna go check it out.”

And, the moment Lance excused himself (much to the King’s shock), Keith stood up as well, (much to _Lance’s_ shock).

“ _What are you doing?_ ” he asked the red paladin.

“Going with you,” Keith stated in a voice that was all _Lance, I swear to Voltron if you fight me on this--_

“Ugh. Fine,” Lance murmured, the bad feeling growing stronger in his gut. “But, just… just stay behind me, okay?”

Keith nodded once, though something flitted through his eyes.

“Paladins!” King Beskus harrumphed, “What is the meaning of this?”

Before Lance could reply, Keith spoke.

“You may be in danger. We need you to stay here.”

The King and council looked shocked, then almost guilty, like they were hiding something. However, Beskus was quick to cover their tracks.

“Well, go on then! Form Voltron and prove you can protect us!”

“We can’t form Voltron without the lions,” Keith snapped, impatient with the trivialities, and ready to fight. Lance could see it- caught the tremor in Keith’s hand as it inched towards his bayard.

Lance quickly materialized his own bayard, and offered the King a smile. “But we can still protect you,” he added, throwing Keith a look because _that’s not how you talk to a King you’re trying to form a diplomacy with_.

“Yeah. Right,” Keith murmured, finally withdrawing his weapon, looking far more relieved with it in his hand, then giving Lance a nod.

They left the council chamber, and made their way to the double doors. Keith stood by Lance, sword raised, while the blue paladin readied his own bayard, and shoved the doors open.

Lance went out into the hall, Keith behind him.

And found nothing.

Eyebrows furrowed, Lance stepped further into the hall, motioning for Keith to follow him. The red paladin did, closing the doors behind them, and trailing behind Lance out down the hall, around one corner, then down further. They walked slowly, and listened with a cautious air.

“I don’t understand,” Lance spoke, voice low as they reached another corner. “I coulda sworn I heard--”

He felt Keith before he heard him shout out a _“LANCE!”_

Lance was pulled to the side, and he saw the flashing red and white of Keith’s bayard raise, then drop as he downed what appeared to be a masked and armed rebel.

A bloody knife fell along with the assassin’s body. Lance’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at his friend, seeing an expression of shock on Keith’s face, his hand pressed at his gut.

No.

Blood trickled through his gloved hand, dripping onto the floor.

 _No_.

Lance was at Keith’s side in an instant, putting his bayard away, then quickly placing a hand on the paladin's shoulder so he could support him when he stumbled.

“Keith!” he found himself calling, voice shaken.

The red paladin didn’t look shocked, anymore. He instead took on a look of annoyance and irritation as he inspected himself, as if he _wasn’t_ bleeding out, but rather had been told mullets were never in style. Which, they _weren't_.

“Let me look,” Lance ordered, making Keith lean against a wall, and batting his now soaked hand gently away. He softly placed his fingers on the gushing wound, prodding and inspecting, then cursed. It was deep, and the bleeding was consistent, getting heavier. 

“You _idiot_ , I told you to stay behind me!” Lance shouted as he glared at Keith, who was looking more and more pale as the seconds passed.

Panicked, Lance went to the assassin and removed its mask. He took the thick black material, and pressed it to the red paladin’s wound.

Keith inhaled a sharp hiss through his teeth, putting his hand over Lance’s, and wetting the blue paladin’s glove even further with blood.

“Are you okay?” Keith spoke, voice trembling, and Lance looked up, incredulous.

He had half the mind to yell at his friend, but he swallowed his remarks, and nodded.

“Yeah. But you’re not. We have to get you back to the castle.”

Keith nodded, and Lance put a hand to his helmet, activating the comms.

“Shiro? You there?” Lance called, trying to sound tougher than he felt.

“Lance?” the black paladin’s voice reached him, and Lance sighed with relief. “What’s wrong?”

“We n-” Lance began before a loud explosion sounded, and the castle shook violently. Screams erupted from outside the castle walls, and Lance could hear what sounded like war cries reach him, footsteps running through the halls towards them.

Lance stood in front of Keith, and withdrew his bayard.

 _“Lance? ”_ Shiro called. “What was that?”

“We've been sent to a planet that’s in the middle of a French-worthy revolution, that’s what!” Lance shouted. “Keith is hurt- _bad_. We need a cryopod ready for him when we get back!”

He could hear Shiro curse. “We’re going bring the castle to you two. Keep your comms on, we’ll need to pinpoint your location!”

“Got it,” Lance spoke before turning towards Keith, and looking him in the eyes. “You need to stay back, and I _mean it_ this time _._ ”

Keith, as always, looked resilient. His thick brows furrowed, and he gave a curt nod. But his hand that wasn’t pressing at his wound fluttered to his bayard. Lance didn’t expect any different, really. It was just Keith- always on guard. Never without a barrier.

The hall filled with rebel soldiers, now, and Lance shot one down after another, nearly overwhelmed with the amount of Uyamians. They were resilient, charging at Lance with a vigor that was almost admirable.

Two almost got to Keith before Lance turned on them, shooting them down. In his attempt at protecting Keith, however, Lance had let his own guard down, and when he turned back to the majority of the rebels, a knife flew through the air, and he just barely managed to dodge it enough, still earning a slice through his suit, cutting deep across his bicep.

Keith tried to move forward to check on Lance, and maybe to fight, but the blue paladin just stood in front of him once more, blocking him from the inflow of rebel soldiers.

“Stay down, Keith!” he shouted, shooting down another rebel- not sure his aim had ever been so precise, before. He couldn’t remember ever being this livid.

But now he had someone to protect. And nobody was going to touch a single hair in Keith’s godforsaken mullet.

He could hardly feel the gash in his arm, numb from the rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins. The heat of battle was getting to Lance- transformed him, made him somebody he wasn’t. He was vicious and cruel, downing soldier after soldier without the slightest trace of hesitance. The paladin had half the mind to be scared of himself- to wonder, for a brief moment, what his mom would think if she saw him like this. His mind brought him images of his family’s faces, twisted with horror.

He pushed it aside, and focused on the present. They’d understand.

Now, with Keith’s life hanging in the balance, Lance was in full-on survival mode. He’d do whatever was necessary to keep the red paladin safe.

_They’d understand._

When it seemed as though the last of the soldiers had reached them, and the hall was filled with what looked to be more than twenty bodies, Lance turned to Keith, and took his hand, helping him up from his now crouched position. He looked paler than before, covered in a sheen of sweat, and face twisted with a look of nausea.

“Lance,” Keith gritted through his teeth. “The King, you’ve got to get him to safety.”

Lance looked at Keith incredulously.

“Like quiznak I will! He’s the reason we’re in this mess!”

Keith’s hard expression met Lance’s own- grounded his instincts, which were screaming at him to take Keith and _run_. The red paladin, for once, provided a calm voice of reason.

“Don’t forget why we’re here,” he spoke, and his voice was weak, but sure. “We need to do what we can to protect them.”

Before Lance could protest, Allura’s voice rung out to him through the comms.

“Keith’s right, Lance. You _must_ get the King and his council to safety. It’s the paladin code.”

Lance growled. “Well, what about the code on keeping your team _safe?_ ” he protested, voice harsh. Under another circumstance, Allura would kick Lance’s ass for his tone.

Keith lifted his bayard with a shaky arm, and Lance could see him trying his best to hide his tremors. “I’m not defenseless. Now, the more we argue, the more blood I lose. Go get them and bring them out here.”

Lance scoffed, a protest on his tongue before he caught Keith’s eyes. They shared a look, and Lance pressed his lips stubbornly together before finally nodding. “Fine. Don’t die.”

“I won’t.”

Lance lingered on Keith’s eyes a moment longer, and they came to an agreement. He rushed off, making his way back down the hall, towards the council chamber.

He gathered the huddled mass that was the King and the council, who were cowering behind the metallic table, looking ready to fling a chair at him, but calming when they realized who it was. Somehow, he managed to convince them that he could get them to safety- a ramble that he forgot once he had blabbed it, his mind on the red paladin waiting for him in the hall. Once the King assented, Lance escorted them out to the weakened, bleeding Keith.

The King and council froze in their tracks, taking in the bloodshed around them, and then taking in Keith, himself. “What happened to the red paladin?” the King asked before they caught the blood. “He is injured! How can we expect you to protect us when you cannot protect your own?!”

Lance glowered, and gestured at the hall around them. “Because I managed to stop these assassins from reaching you. And because you don’t have much of a choice, right now.”

Skeptical, and looking taken aback at Lance’s words, surely never having been snapped at before, the King finally relented, albeit with a grumble. Lance made his way to Keith, and wound an arm tight around the paladin’s waist, taking Keith's free arm and slinging it over his shoulder.

“You good?” he asked Keith, who nodded with confidence, though shakily.

Lance turned to look at the King. “How do we get out of the castle?”

Beskus looked taken aback. “We will not be safe outside! The rebels, they are looking for me! They have bombs! You must take us to the lower levels- there is a shelter. We will be safe there.”

Lance suppressed a growl, turning to look at Keith, who gave him a nod. So he quelled his anger and complied, leading the King and council through the castle. Sections of it had been barred, or crumbled from explosions, so it took them an agonizingly long time to get to the lower levels. And getting down the stairs was tough, as with every step they took, Keith looked like he was holding back a wince, face contorted with pain, eyelids hooded with exhaustion.

Lance pulled him closer.

Through the King’s guide, and with Keith leaning heavily into Lance’s side, breathing ragged, they finally managed to get to the shelter. The council scurried into it, and once the King made sure their people were inside and started after them, Lance caught their arm, pulling them aside.

“Where’s the nearest exit in this castle?” he asked.

Beskus looked shocked. “You will not be staying here?”

Lance shook his head, impatient. “I need to get my friend back to our ship.”

The King let out a noise of protest. “You won’t survive! This is the coldest season of Thyspos! This climate is not meant for humans! Only the people of this planet can bear it! And the siege--”

“I _can’t_ stay here!” Lance shouted.

Finally, the King drew back, relenting. They gave Lance the directions, and let him leave. “Good luck, paladins. And... thank you.”

Keith was almost completely unresponsive, now. Lance jostled him slightly as he led them through the halls, clumsily taking down a few rebels with shots that made him wince from their horrid accuracy. “You still with me, buddy?”

Keith let out a hum, and his head lolled to Lance’s neck, where his trembling breath puffed against the sweaty skin there. “Yeah. I’m with you.”

Lance tightened his grip.

They got out of the castle, greeted with loud explosions and chaos. Only a few more rebels caught eye of the two and shot at them, but Lance used his shield to cover him and Keith, and downed the rebels quickly.

He tried his best to make it through the kingdom towards the outer gate, where their space pod was waiting. Village homes were being ransacked, screams filling the air, fires scorching the dry earth, and explosions rumbling the planet’s surface.

Uyamians came to Lance, _begged him_ for help. But all he could do was murmur apologies, look away, and move forward. Keith was his priority, and he knew he couldn’t waste another moment.

Those screams and sobbing begs would haunt him forever.

Lance got them to their pod, their armor starting to ice over from the cold- little bits of delicately patterned frost clinging to the blood soaked metal.

Their spacecraft had been destroyed- soot covering it from where it had been shot with lasers, and pieces of the craft torn off. Lance cursed, then contacted Shiro.

“Our pod is down! We have no way out!  _Where are you guys?_ ”

“On our way,” Shiro’s calm voice met him. “We should only be a few minutes, now. Can you get into the pod?”

Lance nodded, then realized Shiro couldn’t see him, and spoke quickly. “Yeah, yes.”

“Get in it. Stay warm, and keep safe. We’re heading over as fast as we can.”

“Okay,” Lance replied. He shook Keith slightly, and the red paladin weakly lifted his head, his eyes unfocused. “Hey, we gotta get in the pod. Can you move?”

Keith nodded sluggishly, and attempted to help. Lance ended up mostly carrying the red paladin.

Once they were settled into the seats, Lance removed his helmet, then Keith’s. The red paladin’s face was fevered, flushed red, but he shivered hard from the cold. Lance took him, and dragged him onto his lap, wrapping his arms around the paladin to keep him warm.

“You gotta stay with me, okay?”

Keith let out a weak hum. “I’m with you.”

He buried his feverish face into Lance’s neck, panting into it, his breathing skipping every now and then. Lance held him close, heart heavy with worry. He felt dizzy and nauseous, and the world spun around him, though they were sitting, now. He shivered in the cold, wishing he was back at that heated table.

Lance spoke to distract himself.

“I told you to stay behind me, you lunatic,” he murmured, feeling tears prickle at his eyes as he came down from his adrenaline, and realized the weight of their situation. The red paladin was limp, face paler than Lance had ever seen it, and eyes hardly able to keep open. He felt Keith’s blood start to drip onto his lap.

“You’d be dead,” Keith protested, voice a slur, but snark still finding its way into the statement, in complete disregard to his state. It was as if they were in the common room of the castle, just tossing jabs at one another. Lance almost laughed.

Almost.

“Better me than you,” Lance retorted, and his voice was thick. He swallowed hard, and held on tighter.

Keith made a protesting noise, stirring against Lance’s neck, as if he was making to lift his face, but suddenly found he hadn’t the energy to.

“You’ve got family waiting for you,” Keith weakly drawled, letting out a wet cough. Blood painted his lips and chin, and Lance found himself wiping it away, concern marking his features as he pulled Keith closer. Keith paused before continuing, voice hoarse. “You gotta get back to them.”

His words hit Lance like a freight train. And, suddenly Lance understood. Keith had no family- nobody on Earth waiting for his return. Nothing there but a lonely desert shack. He had risked himself, because he felt his keeping alive wasn’t as important.

“That’s a bullshit excuse. You’ve got me,” Lance spoke before he caught what he had said, rewording himself. “You’ve got all of us to get back to, you hotheaded, martyring prick.”

Keith’s chest shook slightly at that, a low noise in his throat that sounded like a chuckle. “I’ll hold you to that. You going to forget this bonding moment if I bring it up?”

Lance tightened his arms around the red paladin. “Hell no.”

* * *

“Lance!”

The shout came to him in the form of a distant echo- drew Lance from the dark, murky lake of his unconsciousness.

He woke up, groggy, numb, and cold. Unbearably cold.

There was a warmth in his arms, and opposing hands dragged it away from him, ushering in the unbearable ice that surrounded him.

Lance let out a sharp gasp, coming to, and reaching out to where the warmth had been- to where _Keith_ had been.

He could see it, now- could see Hunk holding Keith’s limp body in his arms, taking him away. He could see Keith’s arm hang loosely, like a rag doll, and his head bent back, throat pale and exposed and white as death.

Lance shouted things he couldn’t recall, flailing himself out of his seat, batting his arms and aggressively pushing away the hands that reached out to him. He shouted over and over, and it could’ve been Keith’s name that rolled past his tongue- that wrenched its way out of his raw, ragged throat.

Shiro came into view, and Lance tried to focus on his grey eyes, tried to hang onto the concreteness of them, but his panic was too much. The black paladin held Lance down, saying something that fell deaf to his ears, and pulled him out of the pod, trying to keep his protesting body still. Words came to him, now.

“He’s delirious. Allura?”

Blue eyes came to his vision, and brown hands flew to his face. Warm, long fingers pressed at his temples.

He promptly passed out.

* * *

_“It’s been days. When is he going to be fully healed?”_

_“These things take time. His body temperature was incredibly low- he almost lost organs! Not to mention the poison--”_

_“I know, I know. This is just taking forever.”_

_“Be patient, Pidge. I’m sure he’ll--”_

_“His cycle is finished! He’s waking up!”_

The pod doors opened, and Lance was thrust into the world, pulled away harshly from a deep sleep.

Strong arms caught him, and Lance landed in a firm chest. Shiro tightened his hold on Lance, holding him close and lifting him up. Lance raised a weak hand, and pushed himself off of Shiro slightly.

“Lance- are you okay?” Shiro’s voice came to him. Lance hummed, gathering his surroundings.

“Woah... gotta buy me dinner before you can have your way with me,” he murmured, trying to gain his footing. He could hear Pidge groan.

“Yup, he’s back."

Big arms wrapped around him, and suddenly Lance was enveloped in a warm Hunk hug that chased away the last of the cold. He let his friend squeeze the life out of him.

“Easy, buddy, or I’ll have to step back in the pod.”

“You were almost dead, I’ll hug as long as I want!”

Hunk's words reached Lance, now, and he instantly denied the severity of them.

“Psht, it’s gonna take more than a little bit of cold to get rid of me,” Lance replied.

“Actually,” Allura’s voice spoke, “it’s not only that. You were poisoned quite badly.”

Lance quirked an eyebrow, meeting the Princess's eyes. “Wait, what?! _How?_ ”

“The Uyamian daggers were laced with a poison from a flower native to that planet. Now, the pod helped heal your organs, but the poison is still in your system, so you will need the antidote. Hunk and Coran retrieved it, after making sure the people were alright, of course-”

Lance’s eyes widened, and he stood straight, now. “Wait, what about Keith? His injury was worse- where is he?” he asked, then whirled to look behind him.

Keith was in a pod, stripped down to his flight suit, which was still soaked in blood. He looked like death- pale and sickly.

Lance’s knees felt weak, and he stumbled towards the pod before Shiro stopped him.

“He’s fine.”

“He doesn’t _look_ fine!” Lance exclaimed. “It looks like you stuck a corpse in there!”

“No, Shiro’s right!” Coran's voice chimed in. “He’s going to have to take a bit longer because of the blood loss, and the severity of his wound. But other than that he should be fine in _about_ ,” and the ginger Altean inspected the control panel, where he was stood, “well, I’d say another day or two.”

Shiro put his Galra tech hand on Lance’s shoulder. “So, for now, let’s get you that antidote.”

Lance frowned, and nodded, looking at Keith’s pod one more time before he was guided away to a bed in the medical bay.

* * *

It took two more days for Keith to emerge from his pod. When he did, Lance was both relieved and pissed. Once he was sure Keith was okay, he found himself avoiding the red paladin at all costs, harboring his angry resentment until it swelled and encompassed him from inside. He was pissy all the time- his snapping remarks at Keith held more malice than usual, and it was the only form of communication between the two.

“The first thing he asked about was you,” Hunk told Lance, visiting his friend in his bedroom where he had been hiding out the day Keith emerged from his pod.

“I don’t care.”

Hunk gave him a look. “Uh, yeah you do. You should really visit him. He's seems really messed up about not seeing you, yet. I think he's worried.”

“Oh, yeah, because Keith Kogane is the epitome of emotional expression.”

“Lance….”

“Drop it, Hunk. I don’t want to talk to him. It’s not like we were on a good basis, before. There's no need for pleasantries. Nothing has changed.”

Except everything had.

Because, though they always had their competitive feud, Lance and Keith were never genuinely angry at one another. It was all petty fun- just something to keep them entertained. Lance found that he had actually grown to enjoy Keith’s company throughout their months in space.

Now he could hardly stand to look at him.

Because all Lance saw when he did was blood.

He didn’t know how to feel about Keith so willingly sacrificing himself for Lance. It made him angry and confused. And, of course, that led to a disruption of the team's balance. Frustrations grew high, and it was clear neither Keith nor Lance were about to talk about what had gone down at Thyspos.

It all came back to haunt Lance during a combat simulator session.

The team had four simulators on them, and were all working on taking them down. Things were going relatively smooth- it was the best they'd worked together in a really long time. Lance found he could focus, and put all his effort into proving he wasn't intentionally trying to disrupt Voltron's balance.

That was, until a simulator had come charging at Keith, sword raised.

Lance couldn't exactly recall how it went down. All he remembered was a horrible jarring feeling that dislocated him from the physical world. Flashes of the Uyamian assassins enveloped his vision- a knife covered in blood... Keith's harrowed expression.

Then everything was red in Lance's rage, and his body was no longer his to control. He had yelled, then was jumping in front of Keith, shouting something at him, and shooting the simulator down, then continuing to fire at it once he had downed it, heart pounding, blood rushing through his veins in a hot torrent.

He only stopped when Hunk pulled him away.

" _Lance!_ "

The blue paladin came back to reality, snapped away from his instinctive rage, and saw his team's collective worried faces around him. His eyes finally landed on Keith, who looked as though he finally understood what was happening- what had been separating the two for the past few days. Lance felt vulnerable under the red paladin's gaze, and he had to look away. 

His hands were unbearably tight on his gun, and they twitched painfully. His arms were stiff, holding the weapon close to his chest.

"It's over. You got it," Hunk murmured, hand going to Lance's back in a comforting manner. He felt his breath hitch in his throat.

"I was... I was just...."

He looked back at the simulator, a fried mess, and let Hunk take his bayard away. Lance shook his head, his hands trembling. He clutched them into tight fists, avoiding his team's sympathetic stares.

"I'm sorry," Lance murmured before racing out the room, not knowing where he wanted to go, but just knowing he wanted to be far away from everyone else.

He wound up in his room, in the end. Lance stripped out of his armor, and took a long hot shower- one that he hoped could rid him of the horrible feeling that draped itself over him, encompassing him and swallowing him up until he didn't even know who he was, anymore.

All Lance knew was that he felt on edge- like, at any moment, he would lose a member of his team. Or he'd lose himself- lose who he was.

What if he changed? What if the person that comes back to his family won't be the same one that left? Would they still accept him?

Would they be scared of him?

He wasn't sure he wanted to find out. So he pushed the thoughts away, and let hot water scorch his back.

* * *

It was late when Lance heard a knock on his door. 

He half considered not answering it- pretending he was asleep and letting the knocks fade and give up.

That was, until he heard who it was.

"Lance? Lance, I know you're awake. Can you please let me in?"

Lance didn't think he ever heard Keith sound so careful- so considerate.

"What's the password?" he called over, trying to come off as nonchalant, but his words fell flat, and carried no humor with them. He got up, bare feet patting on the floor, and let the door slide open. He was met with Keith's hesitant face. The red paladin was freshly showered, and almost vulnerable with his appearance- eyes open and inspecting his friend, as if seeing Lance in a new light.

"What do you want?" Lance asked.

Keith looked hurt, but quickly hid his expression behind his familiar barrier. He raised an eyebrow, a frown on his lips. "Can I come in?"

Lance almost said no- almost told him to go fuck off to the training room for one of his late night combat sessions. But he didn't. 

"Sure," he spoke, the word strained in his throat, and walked away from the door, letting Keith follow him in.

Lance sat on his bed, and raised an expectant brow. Keith stood before him, looking like he'd prefer just evaporating into thin air, completely uncomfortable with the situation.

_You and me both, buddy._

"So?" Lance waited.

"We... I think we should talk. About what happened, earlier."

Lance shrugged. "There's nothing to talk about. Everyone obviously saw me save your ass. At this rate, I'll be cocky enough to be the one tossing myself in front of assassins in no time."

Keith frowned. "Lance...."

Lance gave the paladin a glare. " _Keith_."

Keith sighed, looking like he was ready to walk away and let their feud remain as it was. He glanced at the door. "Okay, this obviously isn't working--"

"Why did you risk your life to save me?" Lance blurted out before he could stop himself.

Keith froze, taken aback. Then he backtracked, looking away and growing flustered. "I don't know," he murmured pathetically.

"That's not good enough."

The red paladin glowered. "Well, what do you want from me?"

Lance stood, now, facing the other boy, looking down at him. 

"The truth."

Keith frowned, crossing his arms. "You were going to get yourself killed, I had no choice."

"I didn't  _ask you_ _to save me!_ " Lance shouted. "That was not your responsibility! You didn't have to sacrifice yourself for me like I was some helpless damsel! Christ, Keith, what would I have done if you--"

He cut himself off, a sob working its way up his throat. Lance was tired, and he didn't want to deal with this. He just wanted to sleep- to not see Keith's face more than he had to. Looking at the paladin just brought up a swelling of emotion that Lance didn't know what to do with.

Keith, as always, was silent. But his glower softened, and his dark eyes inspected Lance.

So the blue paladin continued.

"I don't want people sacrificing theirselves for me. I don't want you doing that- you're too important."

And, suddenly, understanding flashed through Keith's eyes.

"You're important too, Lance."

The blue paladin stiffened, and tried to play off his shock at Keith's statement.

" _Duh_. I'm obviously the most--"

"Stop," Keith demanded, eyes serious. "Quit the act, Lance. You don't need it. Not around me."

Lance swallowed hard, drawn in by Keith's intense stare. He blinked, not sure what to say that wasn't sarcastic.

So, for once, Keith took the lead of the conversation.

"Earlier, when we were in the pod... you told me that I have all of you to get home to. And... you were right. You guys, you're my family. I just- I want to apologize. I know you're struggling to cope with what happened. I am, too. But, Lance, you  _can't_ lock me out like this. You- I need to know you're with me. We need to get through this stuff together. We can't avoid each other, or we'll never recover, and we'll never be able to move past this--"

"I don't want to move past it," Lance protested, heart hammering. "I don't want to forget- I  _can't_ forget. You almost died in my arms! And if I couldn't save you, it would've been my fault, and I don't know if I could have gone on if you... just-  _why?_ You could've _died!_ Do you just- do you not  _get_ that?" Lance rambled, and now he could feel his sob working its way back up his throat, a prickling sensation burning at his eyes, turning them glassy as he tried not to let the tears shed. "Why did you have to--"

Keith stepped forward, eyes filled with something Lance couldn't decipher. His breath caught in his throat when the shorter paladin reached out, and cupped Lance's shoulder, eyes flitting to where his hand met Lance, before looking back at him. Lance didn't know what to do- his chest hurt,  _everything hurt_ , but where Keith touched him, he felt warm.

He felt safe.

"Keith..." Lance whispered, voice torn, and then the red paladin acted.

He pulled Lance close, and kissed him once- a light, fluttering brush of their lips, melding for only a second of warmth before Keith pulled away shyly, hovering over Lance's mouth, looking up into his eyes to gauge his reaction. He looked hesitant- scared, almost, and Lance wanted to laugh, because  _he_ made the fearless, brave, hardheaded Keith Kogane _scared_. 

It was an abstract concept. But so was kissing Keith.

Lance put a hand on the other boy's hip, reassuring him. The red paladin relaxed, giving Lance a second kiss, more confident and open, now. When he pulled away, his eyes only looked back at Lance's lips, seeming entranced. His head dipped closer, as if he wanted to kiss him again, but he stopped himself.

"That's why," he whispered, and his warm breath ghosted on Lance's chin, free hand finding Lance's side, fingers warm and curling around him. It took Lance a moment to remember what they had been talking about- his brain short circuiting with the first touch of Keith's lips.

"Oh," Lance replied, and swallowed, licking his lips. He saw Keith's hooded eyes follow the action, and he suppressed a shiver, pressing closer. In the cold of his room, Keith was a bright flame, and Lance wanted to drink him in- to bask in his warmth. "I don't think it's clear just yet," he spoke, a smile finding its way to his face. "Could you explain, again?"

Keith smiled wide, toothy and beautiful, and Lance tugged him close just as Keith pushed forward, and they tumbled back onto Lance's bed, giggling and a mess of tangled limbs, but it was nice, and soft, and perfect.

And Keith kissed Lance until his jaw ached, fingers exploring, caressing, and leaving goosebumps in their wake. Lance didn't know how much time had passed when they were splayed over the bed, tucked into one another. It was late- they both knew that. Once silence had settled, and their last kiss had been agonizing minutes ago, Lance spoke.

"Don't leave," he murmured, and they both knew it meant more than he could explain.

Keith placed a kiss on his chest, over his fluttering heart, and his voice was low and warm when he replied.

"I'm here. I'm with you."

**Author's Note:**

> this is part... well, fuck, i've lost count.  
> this is part 3/4/5/6 who fking knows for the lovely Karovie's gift! they're gonna keep on coming, so it's probably pointless to number them, yeah?
> 
> rant to me about space gays on my tumblr: spacegaykogane
> 
> peace out, my dudes.


End file.
